doing a rain dance at my desk right now

So my boss is sending me to Iceland. So insane. I mean, really all I know about Iceland is that same story that everyone knows about it. I believe it goes like this; the same people who discovered Iceland, discovered Greenland. Iceland was so beautiful that they named it Iceland so that no one else would come and then called the other ice covered piece of land Greenland to trick people into going there. It reminds me of when people ask me where I got something like cute shoes or skirts and I lie and say I got it at goodwill or some store out of town so that they won’t buy the same one. Oh! I also know that there are hot springs everywhere in Iceland and that when you turn on the cold water in the bathroom it starts out hot and turns cold. I feel pretty prepared.

So I’m sure you can imagine the distress I experienced when I realized that I couldn’t’ find my passport. I mean the idea of missing out on 2 weeks full of warm toilet seats? Unimaginable! I emailed everyone I know, turned my apartment upside down. All to no avail. So, I finally broke down and called the government to find out how long it was going to take. ‘If it takes more than a month I’m screwed’ I kept telling myself. Luckily, 10 Days!!! Wahoo. All I need to do is come in with my birth certificate and driver’s license. A pain in the ass, yes. Something to complain about, sure. But by no means as big of a problem as I was expecting.

It’s a little slow at the GUJ this week so I’ve been surfing the internet a lot, checking out others blogs, but mainly compulsively checking all my celebrity gossip sites (see links). But I did stumble onto the cutest little shirt that I HAD to order online. I reached for my purse to fish out my all ready maxed out credit card. I just bought this beautiful huge brown leather sac and I’m having trouble getting used to the size. So, I wasn’t immediately alarmed when my arm kept coming back without my wallet at the other end. At one point I felt like Mary Poppins. Although there was no lamp I did pull out a sweater, a journal, a book, a can of soup, a cd (the hidden camera’s), a cell phone, a dvd (kiss, kiss, bang, bang), a bottle of water, a digital camera, a pack of cigarettes (3 weeks old so I don’t feel too guilty) sunglasses, driving glasses, my almay (never leave home without it) moisture stick, a compact and my lipgloss. Phew. But, no wallet. This is when I start to go crazy. I now have absolutely nothing that proves who I am. I started to picture myself as one of those homeless people living under the Gardiner that’s getting evicted. Having to pack my life into my stupid novelty sized purse/suitcase and go live in the woods with all the prostitutes. It was pretty scary. Actually, I was thinking most about my missed opportunity for a warm tush but whatever.

I raced to the coffee shop where I tutor, it wasn’t there, I ran to my car to see if it had fallen out, it wasn’t there, ran to my yoga studio and burst in on a hatha flow class, it wasn’t there.

I returned to work where everyone encouraged me to start cancelling my cards. I was so upset. I couldn’t do it. I checked online to make sure no one was using my credit cards and was forced to acknowledge my balances again (gulp). No activity.

I spent the rest of the afternoon at the park with the office dog. It was Riley’s birthday (6 Months) though so I tried to be in a good mood. He’s so cute. The cutest pug ever. He’s at our office everyday and I’m his second mom. I bought him a little raincoat for his birthday and am practically doing a rain dance at my desk right now. I can’t wait to take him out in it.

Back to my story. So I drag myself back to my desk around 4, finish out the day with some emails and then head for home.

I come in and sit down to check my email (even though it’s only been about 4 minutes since I left the office) and there’s my wallet. Right where I left it. I get so excited that I scream and start dancing along with Ellen on Tv. I scare Nate’s cat and he runs into the bathroom again. Thank god cats can’t talk.

An hour later I’m wearing my new cute red ballerina shoes, sitting at the pub with Nate and good friend Sara drinking and laughing at each other. God, I love getting together with those who know me best. There’s nothing better than being able to admit all the idiotic things you’ve done and have your friends love you even more for them.

We poured out of the bar a few hours later, drunk, happy and smoking my 3 week old cigarettes. We piled up the stairs back to our apartment where I put on a fashion show in my new bridesmaid dress. At one point I was bent over my leopard print chaise with my ass in the air. That’s the one I’m sending to my sister.

Sara left to clean her apartment (drunk). Nate headed to the gym (drunk). And I did the dishes, in my bridesmaid dress (drunk) while watching CSI Miami.

Tip your waiters… JASG