Dogs are the new lavalife

Ok ok I suck at this whole Blog thing. But do you really want to read about my sitting in glued to the TV all night? Apparently Emma does.

So let me recap my swinging single week thus far for you… lean forward because you should be on the edge of your seat for this…

Monday night I was stuck at GUJ until 8 as per usual on Monday nights. The pooch and I immediately hit the park and played for awhile. Talked to lots of other owners, but still no sign of Hottie McHot-Hot with the well trained golden retriever. I must tell you; dogs are the new lava life. I meet and talk to more people walking this dog then I have since summer camp in the 7th grade. And back then Em and I were trapped on the opposite side, with trees and cabins separating our pheromones from the boys. Not at the dog park my friends, not at the dog park. By 9 we were curled up comfortably on the couch, he snoring contentedly and I glued to CSI.

Tuesday I worked all day like a real grown-up and after work headed for the video store. I really wanted to see Lucky Number Sleven when it was in the theatre’s but that was during my whole ‘I’m a student and a full time employee and don’t even have time to shower. Yes that smell is me’ phase. So the pup and I headed for the video store and picked it up as well as United 73 or whatever the number is. We hit the park, searching for Golden Boy. No luck. Played for a bit and then went back to my apartment. I cooked while he laid in the middle of the kitchen so that he could ALWAYS be in the way. I made chicken fajitas and was very proud of myself. Then we snuggled down and watched movies, with a few pee breaks in between. Still no sightings. Somewhere along the line Nate came home and joined us.

Wednesday started at 7am, as does every morning now that I have a puppy. We got up and ready and headed up the street. I walked into a print shop and asked did they shoot Passport Photo’s? The girl, young, slim with pink hair answered that yes they do. I asked ‘is it ok if I bring the puppy in to get them done?’ pointing at the ‘no dogs allowed sign’ and not bothering with my puppy dog eyes. Instead I hoisted him up so she could see his huge adorable face. She said ‘sure, bring him in’. So I’m in the corner getting him to lie down so I can take my jacket off when she comes over and says ‘I didn’t even know dogs needed passport pictures’. It took me a second to realize what she said. I turned to look over my shoulder and saw that she was dead serious. I started laughing my ass off, even falling down from my squat to one knee. I told her it was me that needed the photo not the dog. I remember thinking, ‘that is soooo something I would have said, we should be friends’. So she took the pictures, in which I come out looking like a member of a women’s correctional facility named Doris who has 4 bitches. But I take my pictures and we head to the post office. I pick up my passport application, swing by the park, no sign of GB and then head home. I fill out my application as best I can, pack everything up and we head back to work via the park. Again, no GB. As I walked by the furniture store where we’ve become chummy with the owners I noticed that he still had a bookcase out on the street and it was starting to rain. I hollered into the store and the manager came out. I told him, his furniture would be wet soon. He thanked me profusely and started to move it in. Then he stopped and said ‘is that your black car out there?’ To which I answered, ‘Yeah that’s lola, she’s my baby. A little dirty, a little rough around the edges…’ we laughed and then he said ‘it’s getting towed’. SHIT. We run around back and sure enough I’m met by the guy who recently bought the property near our house. There are 3 notes on my windshield from him, progressively meaner asking me to move so he can take a delivery. Whoops. I ask him to please call off the tow-trucks I’ll move it, again positioning the puppy for ultimate sympathy. It works and John, my new best friend let’s me go with a warning as he dials the tow company and cancels their order. Phew. Moved the car and walked to the GUJ where I got stuck yet again until 8 at which time I race home and meet Nate. We go and buy paint. We settled on a colour called ‘Stoney Creek’. It’s like blue grey. I don’t remember how we got to this colour exactly but it’s alright. We came home, ordered a pizza and started painting. I must say that we made a pretty good team. Like one of those couples that grunt and the other knows what they want. I quite enjoyed it. We finished up around 1am, put all the furniture back in place and just as I fell asleep I heard Nate’s lova creep in the front door (wouldn’t that have been soooo much funnier if we had a back door? Think about it) and into Ian’s bedroom. Hmmm when will I ever see His Shortness again?

This morning I woke up to Nate closed door which means I definitely heard His Shortness come in last night. The pup and I head to the park, I decide to stop making myself look cute. I’m never going to see GB again. And it’s pathetic that I’ve been cute-ifying myself pre-shower so many mornings in a row. So I head out with yesterdays mascara all smudged under my eyes, a messy ponytail and StonyCreek Paint on my face, hands and ankles. I think we all know where this is going…There he was, Golden Boy, across the park. AND HE WAVED AT ME. Ugh. I wanted to die. Normally, I would have nonchalantly let the puppy drag me over. But how could I, looking the way I did? And plus he looked like they were just leaving. So groaned, turned, and walked back home. Sigh… I’m destined to be single forever.

So as you can see, the life of a single girl living in the city is unadulterated fun. From stalking strangers at the park, to eating cheesys on the couch, JASG keeps it real.