Who can stay naked the longest?

I’m going to make an amazing wife. Maybe I won’t cook or clean or any of that stuff but damn! I can decorate.
Now that the apartment has been painted it has instantly been transformed into a home… it’s so cozy and homey. I love it. So when I got home I started moving Nate’s paintings around, trying to find the ultimate places for things.
As I was skipping around singing ‘Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down’ (not sure why) I came across these super cute shelves I had impulse bought a few weeks back. I knew at once that they were just what the room needed. Before I’d hung them I was racing around looking for fun things to put on them. And I found none.
Instantly I knew what needed to be done. Ding Ding Ding… Trip to Dollarama… I started to sweat instantly.
I don’t know if it’s the smell, or the sound or the way that everything is so wonderful but Dollarama is my crack.
I get a basket and I walk ever so slowly down every aisle. Making sure my eyes linger on every single little trinket for moments, dreaming what it would be like to have it in my home.
Picture frames, candles, jars with fun rocks, hooks, baskets, placemats, decorative pots and pillow covers. By the time I left I craved a post-coitul cigarette. A wandered home, carrying my 4 bags of fun, a lazy smile on my face.
I ran up the stairs and announced to the cat ‘Now we have some fun!’. Before long I had, hung photo’s and shelves, placed pillows, lit candles, arranged window sills. I’d even taken out the trash!
When Nate walked in at 7:15 I swear to god, he stepped back and ‘WOW it’s like a home!’. To which I shrieked with pride. He loved it all and I loved him for it!
He changed and we raced downstairs and into my baby to head for Oshawa. As I was unlocking my door, Nate threw his open and both our heads shot up and our eyes met across the hood. If you could have heard our thoughts at that moment it would have gone something like this;
Me: ‘He didn’t lock his door last night. I’m going to effing kill him.
Nate: OMG I didn’t lock my door last night. She’s going to murder me. Should I run? No she’d catch me and tackle me. I don’t want to get dirty.
I took a deep breath. Don’t let something silly ruin your Dollarama buzz. I climbed in and said nothing. That’s when I saw that the glove box was open, as was the center consol. Deep breath.
Nate, who’s been too terrified to speak yet, finally says ‘ok, is anything missing?’ I glanced around. No nothing was gone. Not that I really keep much in there other than chocolate bar wrappers and half drank bottles of water. ‘Nate, I think you’re in the clear. What would they steal?’.
So we started driving.
When we hit the highway, that’s when we realized how they had really gotten into the car. Nate didn’t leave the door unlocked at all. They (the robbers) had popped my window out. It was a windy drive and holy eff is that place far away. When we finally pulled off of the highway onto Park Drive in Oshawa Nate turned to me and said incredulously ‘I can’t believe they consider this the GTA, we’re in the sticks!’ to which I giggled.
We made it over to Em’s brother’s place and he signed my passport pictures as I regaled him with wonderful stories of Em’s projectile vomiting the weekend before. He laughed until I switched over to his sister wanting to skinny dip, that’s when he pushed us out the door and we laughed all the way home.
Before long we were curled up in our favorite positions watching the hilarity of Kenny vs. Spenny and their ‘Who can stay Naked the longest’ competition. Damn funny.
I could soooo win that competition in our house.